Only one today, at least on this blog

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

Today has been a bit crazy. I had a few meetings in my office, and suddenly there were people everywhere, noises, crazy amounts of staff members. It was actually more people doing work in my office than I've ever seen before.

Occasionally I like the busyness. I was thinking to myself how great it might be to have a job such as an ER social worker. Where you're working the whole day. Solving problems, getting out there, etc. But then I remembered how much those people do. How much work it must be. How tired they must get, and, at the end of it all, how depressing it would be to take children away from their mothers...

I've been thinking a lot about where I want my career to go. If anyone has any thoughts, please don't hesitate to speak up. I would love to take one of those office placement tests. Try to figure out exactly what I am looking for in a career and in an office.

Like I said, all suggestions welcomed...


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Last one I promise...

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

From my favorite Meg Fowler (and yes, I guess it's true that since I don't know another-she's the only one)....

Coffee or tea?
PC or Mac?
Kids or no? Not yet
Political or no?
Summer or winter? Fall
Artificial sweeteners or sugar? Honey
Fries or salad?
Lake or ocean?
Own or rent?
Email or phone?
Traditional medical care or natural remedies? Both see this
Vegetarian (or vegan) or carnivore?
Apples or oranges?
Follow celeb culture or no?
Liberal or conservative?
Rural or urban?
Car or SUV?
Atheist or not (not includes agnostics)?
Marriage: necessary or no?
Cable or not?
Campsite or hotel?
Alcohol or no? depends
Up early or up late (if given the choice)?
News online or news on tv? neither

Any other takers?


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Love Thursday

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

I've had a lot of different guidelines in this blog. I haven't done very well with them. But this one I like:

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Weird day, weird hour, weird life

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

lots of thoughts running through my head
Random thoughts, random ideas, not sure where to place them.

Worried about how people take things
worried about where my life is going. Not sure where to place them.

tired. of work, of school.
Tired of having to try so hard. Not sure where to turn.

Content. Trying to focus on where the good is.

Okay- I admit it. I have no idea what that is. It's not exactly a poem, but it certainly is some of the thoughts running through my head, though, of course, not in any sort of manageable order.

I know many new people have found there way here, and I want to remind you about this and that this is, again, my space. Please don't take anything I say here with to much weight. But, since you're here, you might as well internalize the thoughts I have.

I'm tired of people putting their ideas onto me. Recently this has come in the form of what they think the 'line' of my life should be. Where I should be headed, how much experience I have to be doing what I want to be, and what experiences I should have before I do what I want to. I have my thoughts, and my ideas. I want your opinion, but I don't want your opinion of what the perfect trajectory is thrust on my life. Yes, we all have our lenses. Just don't forget that you're seeing me through yours, and that what you think and what I think may be different.

I miss my friends. Please come back. Please return my phone call. Please come visit. Please write on your blog. Please don't forget about me.

I want my sister to have her wedding. I'm not inundated with thoughts about weddings, what colors I want, where I want it, what traditions I want to follow. There isn't a man, so stop it. And sister of mine, beautiful sister of mine, get a MOVE-ON!

I bought some homeopathic remedies yesterday. I'm excited. Arnica, and a few others. I don't think I got the potency right, but 30x is what they were selling. My book recommends 6x....

I want my group to stop being ridiculous. We need to commit to a meeting time and place and just get to it....grrrr...


UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: I have to remember that the crappy weather makes me feel crappy. I hate these no sun, no rain kind of days. But it will get sunny again! REMEMBER THE SUN!

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GRE panic mode- yeah graduate admission

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

I finally signed up for the GRE. Yeah! I mean- CRAP! I really have to decide that I care about this test, and that I intend to study and do well.

The test is on November 20th. At 8am. In Gardena.

I've written one of my two admissions essays. I've written one of the two scholarship essays.

I have a paper due the 19th and a presentation in class.

I have three concerts that week in Thornton.

It's the week of Thanksgiving.

Okay- just breathe. you CAN do this. believe me...you can.

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What's the meaning of life- and where does the red wine come in?

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, red wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO!!! What a ride!

Is this true? Is this really what I should be doing? Am I headed down this path....?

I've been thinking a lot about my future, where I want to be, and when I want to be there. I have to admit that I'm a little less than thrilled about the current 'waiting game'. Of course, a better person would say that all of these moments, this so called waiting, is really a part of the magical experience that is living. I'm not sure where I stand.

I want to get married. I want to start having children. I want to explore new places, new things, and to figure out what I like and what I don't.

When I told my mother that I was headed to Cambodia she told me that she could just shoot me with a gun if I wanted to die. I don't think that I have a death wish. In fact, I think I have a healthy curiosity. Of course, the truth that someone could walk in my door and say 'do you want to go to Timbuktwoo' I'd say when, and for how much? I just want to explore. To connect to new things. I think I sort of feel that as long as I'm not bogged down in the everyday, I won't mind that I feel like my life is not on the track that I want it to be.

I've been thinking a lot about my relationships. The ones I value, and trying to determine where these relationships should go. This includes friendships, intimate relationships and family connections. I'm at a point where I want to stop caring about people, if they don't seem to be caring for me. Where I can no longer give of my self, my heart, and my soul to those I'm intimate with, without something concrete in return. Where I need to feel nothing but generous support from those I'm related to and cannot leave.

I'm trying to hold back from forcing my hand... but the more I sit, the more I believe that that's truly what I need to do...

After all, if I want to skid in sideways screaming what a ride I probably ought to start now.

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Halloween Review

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

So this Halloween I went to the costume Carnaval in West Hollywood. It was an interesting experience. honestly, it's sort of weird. It's just a long street where people walk up and down to see people dressed up crazy. Good to go at least once, but I wouldn't go again unless I was someone to look at...

highlights include:
1. Not to many cheerleaders. That made me happy.
2. Crazy cross-dressing women/men. Who's surprised?
3. Cool Flinstones car. There were 4 people walking the car...it rocked!
4. A great burrito, with wonderful seats to watch the crazies.
5. Listening to the HANSENS play Um Bop..while twirling my hair. I love acting 12.

On a totally other note, now for those of you who want G- rated material, read no further....but how does one go about creating a 3 person party? You get what I'm asking...right? I've had one before, but the circumstance was with me and a guy's gf. He was sort of cheating on her with me... I don't want the guy I want involved cheating on me with another girl.

I've been thinking a lot about it. Thanks roommate, for the sex-novels....


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