Thursday, March 19, 2009

Trying to find the balance

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

It's amazing to me how much I struggle for balance in my life. Yes, I might be a libra, but I never thought that image of a woman holding scales would apply to me... it seems, however, that the more I struggle for balance the more I take on and the less balanced I become.

I try to excercise and achieve balance in my diet and my life. Then I end up going to the gym two times a week, missing phone calls and important dinners and feeling extremely sore.

I try to make new friends by attending events, joining organizations and participating. Then I'm so busy participating that when one of my new friends wants to do something I'm to busy.

I try to work hard and ensure that I'm an important part of the team. Then I end up working long hours and tired; to tired to volunteer to come in on the saturday when they need me.

I try to be in love, and acknowledge that my boyfriend isn't perfect. Then he goes out of his way to go to something with me, only to not enjoy it and we end up slightly unhappy and tired.

I try to do the dishes, keep a clean room and home for my mother. Then because I'm so busy and I can't make dinner I get yelled at- forget that I was the one who cleaned the kitchen from dinner the last four nights.

I try to be a good maid-of-honor, struggling to make plans that everyone can attend. Then when I finally get to finishing it all off I find out that I'm not trying hard enough, and that my thoughts are totally irrelevant.

I try to be a spritual person, with a Jewish note in my life. Then when I try to honor the fast I miss lunch with friend; when I want to say prayers in the morning shower my boyfriend thinks I'm weird.

The best laid plans of mice and men.

Men plan, G-d laughs.


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Monday, March 2, 2009

I really did have good thoughts

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

There were several times this week when I thought to myself that I should blog. I had interesting thoughts about the overdrive of America (read, panic attack over work, gym, boyfriend, weddings, etc.); thoughts about the impending doom of the American people (really, do we really have to talk about that); thoughts about arguments with significant others (I think they are okay, as long as their productive).

However, at this moment, all I can really think about is the feeling of impending doom of my school, my department and potentially my job.

I wrote a whole long thing... and then I deleted it. Then I remembered that by writing this down someone else could find it, and talk about it, and that was no good.

So I'll be a little abstract with my thoughts, and yet, a little more focused.

I've just gone through my first 'we're hiring a high-level administrator at a school' hiring process. It certainly was interesting. I had the opportunity to interact with two candidates. We had to do for one candidate what we did for the other, which confused me a little because one candidate already works here.

At the end of it though, the whole affair didn't inspire any confidence. How do you get confidence when you're asking an Interim position to help hire a permanent position. What happens if the new higher person doesn't like who the Interim hired?

I'm excited for one of the candidates, dreading the other. Only time, and a few guys sitting in a room, will tell.

On a personal note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKI AND CHRIS!


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