One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
Life is really interesting right now. I know I've mentioned it before, but we're going through pay cuts here at the school. In addition to that they announced on June 30th that they were going to be doing layoff's of at least 7 people, but most likely 11 people.
Originally they told us they would make a decision by June 15th, and inform everyone at that time. However they changed the timeline so we don't find out about who's getting laid off until June 21st. Woot!
Talk about a lack of motivation. How are you supposed to concentrate on all of those things you need to do to get ready for next year when you aren't even sure that you'll be around. I'm telling you that they know who they are laying off. They just can't tell us yet. Why make 58 people nervous, rather than just telling the 11.
In addition to that, things are happening around my family. I was looking at apartments, now I'm trying to figure out how to deal with the fact that I will probably be under my parents roof until I get married. I was looking at taking a few classes here, now I'm frantically searching the job boards.
Anyone else gone through or going through layoff's? Any thoughts about how to keep my spirits up?
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Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Flower Deliveries make me happy
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
Today Matthew sent two dozen roses to the office. My favorite part was probably the card "Because I can". I've shown the card to a few people, and they don't seem to find it quite as romantic as I do, but I just think it's awesome. There is no reason for flowers today, certainly not an occasion for roses, but I love them.
They fill my office with the scent of happiness. They are just starting to bloom into a beautiful existence.
On other notes, there have been lots of meetings at work. I think meetings are generally okay, but sometimes they really concern me. With the state of the CA budget, I am constantly on alert for thoughts or comments related to the words "pay cut" "Lay-off" or "Temporary measure". Not that anything has really happened, but the President of the UC system has asked the Board of Directors to approve the possibility for these things to happen. That's the first step.
I'm about to go into what I will kindly dub as "hell week". I'll be working every single night for the next two weeks. That's what happens when you are PMing two shows that open with in a week of each other, one of which is in rep, which means that you have two weeks of tech, not just one. Luckily the weekends are slightly separated, so I get one day off in each week.
Of course, it wouldn't be all wonderful if my sisters bachelorette party weren't right in there too! Talk about fun! I am truly very psyched for the whole event. I just need to finalize some little details. But, really, it's SO AWESOME! We're going to Temecula, I've rented a house, and we're doing Wine tasting. Just have finish the time line for myself, and figure out exactly how much food to buy 9 girls for the weekend.
YEAH!
Did I mention I have two dozen roses in my office right now :-)
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Today Matthew sent two dozen roses to the office. My favorite part was probably the card "Because I can". I've shown the card to a few people, and they don't seem to find it quite as romantic as I do, but I just think it's awesome. There is no reason for flowers today, certainly not an occasion for roses, but I love them.
They fill my office with the scent of happiness. They are just starting to bloom into a beautiful existence.
On other notes, there have been lots of meetings at work. I think meetings are generally okay, but sometimes they really concern me. With the state of the CA budget, I am constantly on alert for thoughts or comments related to the words "pay cut" "Lay-off" or "Temporary measure". Not that anything has really happened, but the President of the UC system has asked the Board of Directors to approve the possibility for these things to happen. That's the first step.
I'm about to go into what I will kindly dub as "hell week". I'll be working every single night for the next two weeks. That's what happens when you are PMing two shows that open with in a week of each other, one of which is in rep, which means that you have two weeks of tech, not just one. Luckily the weekends are slightly separated, so I get one day off in each week.
Of course, it wouldn't be all wonderful if my sisters bachelorette party weren't right in there too! Talk about fun! I am truly very psyched for the whole event. I just need to finalize some little details. But, really, it's SO AWESOME! We're going to Temecula, I've rented a house, and we're doing Wine tasting. Just have finish the time line for myself, and figure out exactly how much food to buy 9 girls for the weekend.
YEAH!
Did I mention I have two dozen roses in my office right now :-)
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Thursday, April 16, 2009
Maybe Every Other Day...
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
A while back I was so diligent I was posting everyday. I had a reasonable readership and I felt that I was able to communicate relatively effectively. Well, that's gone out the window, but I'm really going to try two to three times a week.
My sister got into town on Monday to finalize some wedding details and make things happen. Her bridal shower is on Saturday, so we're working on that as well. I have decided to make the cupcakes.
I know, I just finished the 9 person Passover dinner, I have to work on Sunday and I'm basically insane. But... I really want to...
Not only do I want to, but I want to try something new. This is basically my philosophy of life. Having multiple people over whom you are trying to impress? Try something new! Cook something new, bake something new, and just to throw it all in there, even add a new theme or location!
So, I'm baking cupcakes. I told my sister to pick a recipe out of my book. Then I've decided that I will make candied lilacs for the tops of cupcakes. Cute, adorable edible flowers. Throw on some of those little silver candy balls, and I think you've got something beautiful. All the better if I can get the little balls to be black, instead of silver.
So I'm spending my lunch on the hunt for organic, pesticide free lilacs. Then on the way to the dinner party I have tonight, I'm going to try to purchase some little silver or black candy balls.
Did I mention that as I write this I am trying to talk down the wine tasting tour company, answer 4 work e-mails, find a good tailor for my bridesmaid dress and figure out how exactly I can fight my speeding ticket. Yup- that's me. Those lazy days are long gone until Alaska.
**for those of you following along, Matthew and I got our first piece of mail addressed to both of us. Then my parents told me that I couldn't have my wedding in December. Please note, I did not mention anything about an engagement**
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A while back I was so diligent I was posting everyday. I had a reasonable readership and I felt that I was able to communicate relatively effectively. Well, that's gone out the window, but I'm really going to try two to three times a week.
My sister got into town on Monday to finalize some wedding details and make things happen. Her bridal shower is on Saturday, so we're working on that as well. I have decided to make the cupcakes.
I know, I just finished the 9 person Passover dinner, I have to work on Sunday and I'm basically insane. But... I really want to...
Not only do I want to, but I want to try something new. This is basically my philosophy of life. Having multiple people over whom you are trying to impress? Try something new! Cook something new, bake something new, and just to throw it all in there, even add a new theme or location!
So, I'm baking cupcakes. I told my sister to pick a recipe out of my book. Then I've decided that I will make candied lilacs for the tops of cupcakes. Cute, adorable edible flowers. Throw on some of those little silver candy balls, and I think you've got something beautiful. All the better if I can get the little balls to be black, instead of silver.
So I'm spending my lunch on the hunt for organic, pesticide free lilacs. Then on the way to the dinner party I have tonight, I'm going to try to purchase some little silver or black candy balls.
Did I mention that as I write this I am trying to talk down the wine tasting tour company, answer 4 work e-mails, find a good tailor for my bridesmaid dress and figure out how exactly I can fight my speeding ticket. Yup- that's me. Those lazy days are long gone until Alaska.
**for those of you following along, Matthew and I got our first piece of mail addressed to both of us. Then my parents told me that I couldn't have my wedding in December. Please note, I did not mention anything about an engagement**
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Monday, January 5, 2009
3 months sure went fast
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
Who would believe that just three short months ago I was just starting with UCI. I can't believe how quickly time has flown by, and how much I've learned. I know you learn a lot whenever you start somewhere new, I just can't describe how happy I am to be learning here.
On other notes, I'm trying to plan dates throughout the rest of the school year. Working occasional weekends has meant that I've needed to be extra diligent in trying to plan weekend getaways. I'm happy to report that m@ and I are taking our first little road-trip this month. I'm sure I annoy the hell out of him, but I'm just so excited. Road-trips are one of those things that I think are really fun, and traveling is something I think that M@ and I should really do more of together. It's something we both love, so why not love it together.
Let's see...what else. I've been scrapbooking a lot and reading a lot. I got myself a few great books, and I also got a few for the holidays. I'm looking forward to trying some of the wines in my 100 greatest wines book, and recipes from Miriam's kitchen. I've also invested in a library card so I can keep reading interesting things.
I'm trying really hard to integrate important spiritual readings into part of my Saturdays. I haven't found a temple yet, so I'm going to try to observe the Shabbat with a reading habit. I figure I start with Torah portions and end up with biographies and historical fiction. Anything that teaches me something new, right?
Do you believe in New Year's Resolutions? I can't decide. Part of me totally wants to make some, and then keep them and prove how cool I am. The other part of me realizes that I don't need a New Year to make changes, and that somehow doing them over the new years makes them somewhat more likely for failure. Hmm....
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Who would believe that just three short months ago I was just starting with UCI. I can't believe how quickly time has flown by, and how much I've learned. I know you learn a lot whenever you start somewhere new, I just can't describe how happy I am to be learning here.
On other notes, I'm trying to plan dates throughout the rest of the school year. Working occasional weekends has meant that I've needed to be extra diligent in trying to plan weekend getaways. I'm happy to report that m@ and I are taking our first little road-trip this month. I'm sure I annoy the hell out of him, but I'm just so excited. Road-trips are one of those things that I think are really fun, and traveling is something I think that M@ and I should really do more of together. It's something we both love, so why not love it together.
Let's see...what else. I've been scrapbooking a lot and reading a lot. I got myself a few great books, and I also got a few for the holidays. I'm looking forward to trying some of the wines in my 100 greatest wines book, and recipes from Miriam's kitchen. I've also invested in a library card so I can keep reading interesting things.
I'm trying really hard to integrate important spiritual readings into part of my Saturdays. I haven't found a temple yet, so I'm going to try to observe the Shabbat with a reading habit. I figure I start with Torah portions and end up with biographies and historical fiction. Anything that teaches me something new, right?
Do you believe in New Year's Resolutions? I can't decide. Part of me totally wants to make some, and then keep them and prove how cool I am. The other part of me realizes that I don't need a New Year to make changes, and that somehow doing them over the new years makes them somewhat more likely for failure. Hmm....
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Thursday, July 31, 2008
A very crazy few weeks
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
Let's see what happened:
ComicCon: I went down to San Diego with about 5 other people, and it was an amazing weekend. IT started off a little terribly, with an accident on the 5 by Camp Pendleton. Basically it took us 2 hours to go 7 miles.
Look it up on video here or in words here. Really, neither of these articles help explain the 2 hour backup. The boys got out of the car and WALKED faster. But eventually we made it to ComicCon. The hotel was great, the Hyatt by the Convention Center, and the activities rocked. I got to meet Jamie and Adam from Mythbusters! WoHOO! We watched tons of previews, including Terminator, Disney, Watchmen, the Spirit and a few others. Lots of floor time, and lots of purchases. We even made time for seaport village and dinner
JOB INTERVIEWS: I had one in San Diego, which went well. It was for a Managing Director job, which was really exciting. Then I've had two others, one with a symphony and one with a reunions program at a private university. They have all gone well, but I'm anxious about second interviews, and the lack of 'call backs'.
FAMILY: My sister is at home working on wedding things. I've seen like 8 photographers, 2 DJ's and so far 2 dress stores. There's no time for breathing, let alone anything else!
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Let's see what happened:
ComicCon: I went down to San Diego with about 5 other people, and it was an amazing weekend. IT started off a little terribly, with an accident on the 5 by Camp Pendleton. Basically it took us 2 hours to go 7 miles.
Look it up on video here or in words here. Really, neither of these articles help explain the 2 hour backup. The boys got out of the car and WALKED faster. But eventually we made it to ComicCon. The hotel was great, the Hyatt by the Convention Center, and the activities rocked. I got to meet Jamie and Adam from Mythbusters! WoHOO! We watched tons of previews, including Terminator, Disney, Watchmen, the Spirit and a few others. Lots of floor time, and lots of purchases. We even made time for seaport village and dinner
JOB INTERVIEWS: I had one in San Diego, which went well. It was for a Managing Director job, which was really exciting. Then I've had two others, one with a symphony and one with a reunions program at a private university. They have all gone well, but I'm anxious about second interviews, and the lack of 'call backs'.
FAMILY: My sister is at home working on wedding things. I've seen like 8 photographers, 2 DJ's and so far 2 dress stores. There's no time for breathing, let alone anything else!
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Friday, July 18, 2008
Interviews Ahoy!
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
I've had two interviews so far. I think they both went well, especially since one was in person and one was a phone interview. It's funny to try to comprehend the job responses I've been getting, who has called me back and who hasn't...
I won't go into details about the interviews here, if you want to know you can call me, but needless to say one job might be a little above me, and one might be a little below me. We'll have to see where it all lands.
I've been inundated by engagement announcements. People I thought might never get married, let alone get married before me, are totally engaged. I know that's ridiculous, to think that I should be married first, but it's true. I'm happy for them, but I can't help wondering what's up with me...
My parents didn't meet, let alone get married, until after they were both 30. I know that's totally reasonable and okay, but I always thought it would be different for me. I always thought that I would be making that transition sooner...
I used to think that I just wanted to be a stay at home mom, but I realize that I love working. I'm a hard worker, and I'm good at the jobs I do. I don't want to have kids tomorrow, but I want to have the opportunity to be with my husband, to make a life with him before we add kids to the mix.
I guess I'm just feeling a little frustrated by 'life planning'.
I know, man plans and G-d laughs. But I always thought that woman was supposed to...
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I've had two interviews so far. I think they both went well, especially since one was in person and one was a phone interview. It's funny to try to comprehend the job responses I've been getting, who has called me back and who hasn't...
I won't go into details about the interviews here, if you want to know you can call me, but needless to say one job might be a little above me, and one might be a little below me. We'll have to see where it all lands.
I've been inundated by engagement announcements. People I thought might never get married, let alone get married before me, are totally engaged. I know that's ridiculous, to think that I should be married first, but it's true. I'm happy for them, but I can't help wondering what's up with me...
My parents didn't meet, let alone get married, until after they were both 30. I know that's totally reasonable and okay, but I always thought it would be different for me. I always thought that I would be making that transition sooner...
I used to think that I just wanted to be a stay at home mom, but I realize that I love working. I'm a hard worker, and I'm good at the jobs I do. I don't want to have kids tomorrow, but I want to have the opportunity to be with my husband, to make a life with him before we add kids to the mix.
I guess I'm just feeling a little frustrated by 'life planning'.
I know, man plans and G-d laughs. But I always thought that woman was supposed to...
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Thursday, July 10, 2008
Home, trying to adjust
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
This has been one of the hardest adjustments I've ever had. My body clock just can't seem to settle itself... i haven't slept through the night since I've been home. (except the one time I slept the entire day...)
I have my first job interview Tuesday. With SCR... I'm really excited. If anyone has heard of a job that I might be good at, please pass it along.
The trip was fabulous. I had a truly amazing time. I learned a lot about myself, being in a crazy undeveloped nation. I learned about how I interact with others, which went surprisingly well... I learned more about food and culture and how Americans are perceived, also what happened in Vietnam, from the Vietnamese perspective.
I had an amazing adventure, it felt like a really long time. I loved Cambodia, the people are so friendly. Even though I know they are poorer than Vietnam, they all seem so much more friendly and personable.
I learned that I can handle it. Being in a foreign country, and that I can really have a good time.
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This has been one of the hardest adjustments I've ever had. My body clock just can't seem to settle itself... i haven't slept through the night since I've been home. (except the one time I slept the entire day...)
I have my first job interview Tuesday. With SCR... I'm really excited. If anyone has heard of a job that I might be good at, please pass it along.
The trip was fabulous. I had a truly amazing time. I learned a lot about myself, being in a crazy undeveloped nation. I learned about how I interact with others, which went surprisingly well... I learned more about food and culture and how Americans are perceived, also what happened in Vietnam, from the Vietnamese perspective.
I had an amazing adventure, it felt like a really long time. I loved Cambodia, the people are so friendly. Even though I know they are poorer than Vietnam, they all seem so much more friendly and personable.
I learned that I can handle it. Being in a foreign country, and that I can really have a good time.
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Saturday, June 14, 2008
Perhaps when I get a job....
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
I have been applying for LOTS and LOTS of jobs. It's sort of difficult, because some of them I really want. Some just sound interesting and I think I should apply. But either way, I just don't have the answer yet. I'm not sure what I want to do...
Live Theatre: Back to my roots say some. I love theatre, I really do. But after 4 years at CMU I realized that I get frustrated doing the same thing everyday. So, no stage management on a long-running show. I get frustrated with production management because every show it's the same problem with the small off-stage and the wide procenuim, and... and...and... However, I love the people. I love the accomplishment that comes from being done with something. I love being able to sit there and know that I was a part of something. I miss having something I can have friends and parents come and watch...
Student Affairs: The new direction. I have always loved being part of things. I think that student affairs combines, at least for me, the best of making an event happen and helping someone through something/helping someone figure something out. I've always been a see a problem, fix it type person. The one who really wants to help people figure out where to go, and how to get there... I love planning the events others think are stupid. Winter Gala? I'm there!
Grad School: The cheater? I can't help but think this is cheating. I'm just not sure why I applied. Well, I sort of know. Because I could. Because I was there and there wasn't any reason not to.
HMMMM...
On other notes, I got new soccer cleats today. They worked out okay. I'm a little frustrated by my playing as of late, so I'm going to have to work on that when I get the chance. I want to play well, be better than I've been in the past. I want to feel like I have control of the ball, and not tired after 10 minutes of playing, sun or no sun.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
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I have been applying for LOTS and LOTS of jobs. It's sort of difficult, because some of them I really want. Some just sound interesting and I think I should apply. But either way, I just don't have the answer yet. I'm not sure what I want to do...
Live Theatre: Back to my roots say some. I love theatre, I really do. But after 4 years at CMU I realized that I get frustrated doing the same thing everyday. So, no stage management on a long-running show. I get frustrated with production management because every show it's the same problem with the small off-stage and the wide procenuim, and... and...and... However, I love the people. I love the accomplishment that comes from being done with something. I love being able to sit there and know that I was a part of something. I miss having something I can have friends and parents come and watch...
Student Affairs: The new direction. I have always loved being part of things. I think that student affairs combines, at least for me, the best of making an event happen and helping someone through something/helping someone figure something out. I've always been a see a problem, fix it type person. The one who really wants to help people figure out where to go, and how to get there... I love planning the events others think are stupid. Winter Gala? I'm there!
Grad School: The cheater? I can't help but think this is cheating. I'm just not sure why I applied. Well, I sort of know. Because I could. Because I was there and there wasn't any reason not to.
HMMMM...
On other notes, I got new soccer cleats today. They worked out okay. I'm a little frustrated by my playing as of late, so I'm going to have to work on that when I get the chance. I want to play well, be better than I've been in the past. I want to feel like I have control of the ball, and not tired after 10 minutes of playing, sun or no sun.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
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Saturday, May 31, 2008
Despite attempts to keep up
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
It's been a tough transition back to the states. My stomach and mind and body are at war. I won't get into details, I'll just say that as much as I love to eat American, my body doesn't agree.
Vietnam trip is definitely confirmed. Esther as totally agreed with me. So the next step is to start making hotel reservations, the Ha-long Bay tour and the Cambodia tour. I think it will all work out, though I would be lying if I said that last night I was thinking it might be better just to bow out entirely...
I'm having a hard time with all the free time. 3 weeks to do nothing but look for jobs, perpare for Vietnam, and figure out what I'm doing with my life. Seems a lot easier than it is. I don't do well with lots of free time...
My friends grandfather died this week. He had a good life, in his 80's. I'm not going to the funeral, which should be okay with me, but I sort of want to. It's this whole part of a family I haven't met, and the last thing I want is for there to be regret about my attendance later...
I'm trying to get up to San Francisco. The vietnamese have their Consulate there. What's the pluses of living in LA if I have to go to San Fran for the visa?
I have a feeling that my writing will be more sporadic until I start school again or get a job... Keep watching though...
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It's been a tough transition back to the states. My stomach and mind and body are at war. I won't get into details, I'll just say that as much as I love to eat American, my body doesn't agree.
Vietnam trip is definitely confirmed. Esther as totally agreed with me. So the next step is to start making hotel reservations, the Ha-long Bay tour and the Cambodia tour. I think it will all work out, though I would be lying if I said that last night I was thinking it might be better just to bow out entirely...
I'm having a hard time with all the free time. 3 weeks to do nothing but look for jobs, perpare for Vietnam, and figure out what I'm doing with my life. Seems a lot easier than it is. I don't do well with lots of free time...
My friends grandfather died this week. He had a good life, in his 80's. I'm not going to the funeral, which should be okay with me, but I sort of want to. It's this whole part of a family I haven't met, and the last thing I want is for there to be regret about my attendance later...
I'm trying to get up to San Francisco. The vietnamese have their Consulate there. What's the pluses of living in LA if I have to go to San Fran for the visa?
I have a feeling that my writing will be more sporadic until I start school again or get a job... Keep watching though...
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Thursday, May 22, 2008
A whole month! So sorry
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
This is not usually like me, but I guess something changes when the world gets rocked the way mine did.
Iäm in Sweden (as you can tell from the occassional bad spelling and random letters), about to complete my trip with my parents. Overall, itäs been a great time. Some frustrations, some fantastic moments. A lot of learning and having a great time.
Iäll be home on Monday, and promise that I will try to post a few pictures and write more about the trip.
Iäm anxious to get home, but not excited to start the process of figureing out what my next move in life is. There are so many questions yet to answer- I just know that I want to make the right choice for the next phase of my life.
Iäve gotten to the point where Somewhere Over the Rainbow doesnät make me cry, and where I can talk about the job without being upset. I still think they made the wrong decision, but I have really accepted it.
Iäll say this about a cruise with retired people, being the only young one made me quite popular. I got told time and again that I would be very successful in life, and that I have a great talent for being open, and friendly and fun. I was discussing with many people my situation...a good time.
Someone is waiting, until Monday- Tack!
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This is not usually like me, but I guess something changes when the world gets rocked the way mine did.
Iäm in Sweden (as you can tell from the occassional bad spelling and random letters), about to complete my trip with my parents. Overall, itäs been a great time. Some frustrations, some fantastic moments. A lot of learning and having a great time.
Iäll be home on Monday, and promise that I will try to post a few pictures and write more about the trip.
Iäm anxious to get home, but not excited to start the process of figureing out what my next move in life is. There are so many questions yet to answer- I just know that I want to make the right choice for the next phase of my life.
Iäve gotten to the point where Somewhere Over the Rainbow doesnät make me cry, and where I can talk about the job without being upset. I still think they made the wrong decision, but I have really accepted it.
Iäll say this about a cruise with retired people, being the only young one made me quite popular. I got told time and again that I would be very successful in life, and that I have a great talent for being open, and friendly and fun. I was discussing with many people my situation...a good time.
Someone is waiting, until Monday- Tack!
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Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Or should I jet-set to Europe
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
I leave for a month long cruise on Sunday. I've decided to tag along with my parents and Aunt. I'm excited, overwhelmed and wondering if I'm crazy.
Before I leave I've decided to apply for a grad assistantship, fill out the FASFA, fill out the suplimental student aid form, and apply for about 15 jobs... sound like a plan?
So, on portugal, on london, on paris and amsterdam. On Germany and finland, russia and sweden...
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I leave for a month long cruise on Sunday. I've decided to tag along with my parents and Aunt. I'm excited, overwhelmed and wondering if I'm crazy.
Before I leave I've decided to apply for a grad assistantship, fill out the FASFA, fill out the suplimental student aid form, and apply for about 15 jobs... sound like a plan?
So, on portugal, on london, on paris and amsterdam. On Germany and finland, russia and sweden...
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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Changes changes changes
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
So it didn't work out. I took a risk, a calculated risk, and it just didn't make sense. There wasn't any doubt that I was good at my job... there was conflict of personalities. Not really sure what to say about that.
And so I find myself, in this boon of economic times, once again on the job hunt.
Should I cancel my deferment and start my masters degree this coming fall?
Should I get a job in student affairs?
Should I take random PA jobs and learn about film and television?
Should I try to get back into live theatre, and stage manage/production manage?
Should I do something else?
thoughts...?
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So it didn't work out. I took a risk, a calculated risk, and it just didn't make sense. There wasn't any doubt that I was good at my job... there was conflict of personalities. Not really sure what to say about that.
And so I find myself, in this boon of economic times, once again on the job hunt.
Should I cancel my deferment and start my masters degree this coming fall?
Should I get a job in student affairs?
Should I take random PA jobs and learn about film and television?
Should I try to get back into live theatre, and stage manage/production manage?
Should I do something else?
thoughts...?
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Another week...sorry
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
So, it's apparently been almost a whole week since I last updated.
Important things:
1. Making choices: I find that I am still not thrilled with all of my choices. Sometimes I make the wrong ones, but for some reason, I start to feel that the ones that I screw up are significantly more tenuous and difficult than the ones I used to make. Frustration.
2. Interactions with people: I still find that I'm not thrilled with all of my interactions. I wonder if I'm letting people treat me inappropriately, or that I'm not everything that I could or should be. Is it their expectations that are wrong, or is it my actions?
3. Vietnam: I bought my ticket. $1800 all in (taxes,etc.) It's more than I wanted to spend, but at the end of the day I'm thrilled. I leave at 1am Thursday morning (aka Wednesday night) and arrive in Hanoi at 10am. I leave from Cambodia at 2pm and arrive at LAX at 9pm. YEAH!
4. Tired of being tired: I want to sleep more. That is all.
5. Passover: I'm so excited about passover dinner. If you're around, reading this, and I didn't invite you- shame on me. Call me, and an invitation is on the way. I really hope that people will start to bring food, not just juice or iced tea...
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So, it's apparently been almost a whole week since I last updated.
Important things:
1. Making choices: I find that I am still not thrilled with all of my choices. Sometimes I make the wrong ones, but for some reason, I start to feel that the ones that I screw up are significantly more tenuous and difficult than the ones I used to make. Frustration.
2. Interactions with people: I still find that I'm not thrilled with all of my interactions. I wonder if I'm letting people treat me inappropriately, or that I'm not everything that I could or should be. Is it their expectations that are wrong, or is it my actions?
3. Vietnam: I bought my ticket. $1800 all in (taxes,etc.) It's more than I wanted to spend, but at the end of the day I'm thrilled. I leave at 1am Thursday morning (aka Wednesday night) and arrive in Hanoi at 10am. I leave from Cambodia at 2pm and arrive at LAX at 9pm. YEAH!
4. Tired of being tired: I want to sleep more. That is all.
5. Passover: I'm so excited about passover dinner. If you're around, reading this, and I didn't invite you- shame on me. Call me, and an invitation is on the way. I really hope that people will start to bring food, not just juice or iced tea...
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Thursday, April 10, 2008
Another day of theme park magic
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
I really do love my job. There are a lot of moments when I don't really do things, but I love when I do. I love being involved and alive and really investing in my life.
I am happy with my weekly activities. I still find that I don't have enough time to spend with friends/people, but I'm happy with the people I do spend time with and the interactions I do have.
I'm pleased with my life. I wish I paid less for health insurance/auto insurance, but all of that will come with time. I'm really quite content with life... does that make me weird?
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I really do love my job. There are a lot of moments when I don't really do things, but I love when I do. I love being involved and alive and really investing in my life.
I am happy with my weekly activities. I still find that I don't have enough time to spend with friends/people, but I'm happy with the people I do spend time with and the interactions I do have.
I'm pleased with my life. I wish I paid less for health insurance/auto insurance, but all of that will come with time. I'm really quite content with life... does that make me weird?
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Monday, April 7, 2008
Tricky times, personal and otherwise
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
I'm not really sure where to start. I have a LOT to say about myself, about what happened this weekend, about politics and my thoughts on the war. Where to start...
Most importantly, I think, is the hurt I happened to spread this weekend. I forced people who haven't spoken to me in a long time to rekindle emotions and thoughts about our relationships. I forced myself to take a long, hard and depressing look into my life and the relationships I've forged. Why, you might ask... because I had to. Because someone, a brilliant someone who can see deeper into my soul and my person than I ever thought possible/would ever be possible for me to do myself, brought to my attention that 1+2 did not =3 in my case...
I tore through my past, through the pain I have felt and the pain I have caused others, and came out on the other end with a very painful solution. A thought that I wasn't going to share, yet again, felt compelled to share. And not only did it not provide anything positive for the other person, it was mean and unkind and horrible. I wish that I could have seen through my pain, and into the pain I would have been causing. It's just so incredible, to understand how clearly someone can see right through me. And how my thoughts could be so muffled, and how I couldn't understand my own process. And how I have ended up back in the same corner I was last time... having brought someone down a scary path, and lost them along the way.
This isn't about them, it's about me... but I'm dreadfully sorry.
Additionally, I was just mean this weekend. A friend was sick and couldn't hang out with me, and I was angry at them. I'm not exactly sure why... but I was. I called up to apologize later, but there wasn't any reason for me to be rude. I just can't seem to figure out where I should be these days.
I think I need to take some time out. Try to limit myself to activities for myself, and around myself...
I watched Stop-loss this weekend. If you haven't seen this movie, you should. Especially if you are actively involved in thinking about how the war is affecting America. I won't give it away, but I loved the way she used live film footage, took action shots and really made me feel like I was there. She didn't ignore the sad moments, but at the same time, she didn't ignore the honor and the desire of the soldiers.
I think the war is a horrible thing, but I also think that it's exceptionally complicated. It's so multi-faceted that it can't easily be explained by either side, without some sort of ignorance or pushing of an agenda. The movie seemed to be fairly unbiased. It presented the horrors of Stop-Loss and the horrors of being a soldier; but at the same time, it seemed to be impressively able to explore and develop real people in these situations.
I wish that I was more politically minded, and I know that those of you who are will be saddened by my process, but I support my country and for me, that support means supporting the soldiers in the war.
I also went to the Art Walk at the Brewery this weekend. I bought a really cute piece, a little expensive, but I was quite smitten by it. It was a great time, with a great date.
I spent an obseen amount of money at Macy's. My way of getting out my horrible emotions for the weekend. SO much for saving for a trip.
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I'm not really sure where to start. I have a LOT to say about myself, about what happened this weekend, about politics and my thoughts on the war. Where to start...
Most importantly, I think, is the hurt I happened to spread this weekend. I forced people who haven't spoken to me in a long time to rekindle emotions and thoughts about our relationships. I forced myself to take a long, hard and depressing look into my life and the relationships I've forged. Why, you might ask... because I had to. Because someone, a brilliant someone who can see deeper into my soul and my person than I ever thought possible/would ever be possible for me to do myself, brought to my attention that 1+2 did not =3 in my case...
I tore through my past, through the pain I have felt and the pain I have caused others, and came out on the other end with a very painful solution. A thought that I wasn't going to share, yet again, felt compelled to share. And not only did it not provide anything positive for the other person, it was mean and unkind and horrible. I wish that I could have seen through my pain, and into the pain I would have been causing. It's just so incredible, to understand how clearly someone can see right through me. And how my thoughts could be so muffled, and how I couldn't understand my own process. And how I have ended up back in the same corner I was last time... having brought someone down a scary path, and lost them along the way.
This isn't about them, it's about me... but I'm dreadfully sorry.
Additionally, I was just mean this weekend. A friend was sick and couldn't hang out with me, and I was angry at them. I'm not exactly sure why... but I was. I called up to apologize later, but there wasn't any reason for me to be rude. I just can't seem to figure out where I should be these days.
I think I need to take some time out. Try to limit myself to activities for myself, and around myself...
I watched Stop-loss this weekend. If you haven't seen this movie, you should. Especially if you are actively involved in thinking about how the war is affecting America. I won't give it away, but I loved the way she used live film footage, took action shots and really made me feel like I was there. She didn't ignore the sad moments, but at the same time, she didn't ignore the honor and the desire of the soldiers.
I think the war is a horrible thing, but I also think that it's exceptionally complicated. It's so multi-faceted that it can't easily be explained by either side, without some sort of ignorance or pushing of an agenda. The movie seemed to be fairly unbiased. It presented the horrors of Stop-Loss and the horrors of being a soldier; but at the same time, it seemed to be impressively able to explore and develop real people in these situations.
I wish that I was more politically minded, and I know that those of you who are will be saddened by my process, but I support my country and for me, that support means supporting the soldiers in the war.
I also went to the Art Walk at the Brewery this weekend. I bought a really cute piece, a little expensive, but I was quite smitten by it. It was a great time, with a great date.
I spent an obseen amount of money at Macy's. My way of getting out my horrible emotions for the weekend. SO much for saving for a trip.
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Monday, March 31, 2008
Hahaha, getting better my ass
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
I'm sick. I'm not just a little sick, I'm actually A LOT sick. I seem to have no recollection of a 'getting better' post. But now, the irony sinks in.
The wedding this weekend was brilliant. I LOVE Cami and Jeffy, and now that they are eternally wed, I love them even more. It was great to see everyone, and I even cried a little bit.
I would be lying if I said there weren't some sad or annoying moments. I'm past the point in my life where I want to sit and recollect what happened in college. Get over it. At the same time, I would love to say that I am DEFINITELY beyond the other extreme of assinie conversation..what are you doing? where do you live...etc.
I tolerated people I don't like. I'm not going to go into to much specifics, but I did well. No crazy moments.
Looking at pictures, I'm pleased, but I think I could definitely stand to cast a slightly smaller shadow. Sometimes I feel a bit 'thick'.
If I haven't been obsessed with weddings, I am now. It was gorgeous, and I cried, and I want to get married.
Here are some of my thoughts from the wedding:
1. Practice your dances in your dress, if you're going to practice at all. Jeffy and Cami had obviously attempted to practice their first dance. It was so cute. However, I will just say it, their last dance of the night was probably more beautiful...just because of their connection and happiness, and alone-ness on the floor. Cami and her Dad apparently practiced a waltz, but nerves got the better of them.
2. Go for the lighting additions. Scott and Jeffy did some brilliant lighting design. I realize that yes, they are lighting designers, but it certainly added some brilliance
3. Pick a best man and a maid of honor. I realize that there is quite a desire to be impartial to your friends, but I think that everything gets simplier if you just make a decision. But, that's just my thoughts...
4. Chocolate covered strawberries! YUMMY!
5. Don't forget the pen for the guest book... we found one eventually.
6. JUST GET UP AND DANCE... they moved the head table off the dance floor, brilliant thinking.
Pictures to follow...
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I'm sick. I'm not just a little sick, I'm actually A LOT sick. I seem to have no recollection of a 'getting better' post. But now, the irony sinks in.
The wedding this weekend was brilliant. I LOVE Cami and Jeffy, and now that they are eternally wed, I love them even more. It was great to see everyone, and I even cried a little bit.
I would be lying if I said there weren't some sad or annoying moments. I'm past the point in my life where I want to sit and recollect what happened in college. Get over it. At the same time, I would love to say that I am DEFINITELY beyond the other extreme of assinie conversation..what are you doing? where do you live...etc.
I tolerated people I don't like. I'm not going to go into to much specifics, but I did well. No crazy moments.
Looking at pictures, I'm pleased, but I think I could definitely stand to cast a slightly smaller shadow. Sometimes I feel a bit 'thick'.
If I haven't been obsessed with weddings, I am now. It was gorgeous, and I cried, and I want to get married.
Here are some of my thoughts from the wedding:
1. Practice your dances in your dress, if you're going to practice at all. Jeffy and Cami had obviously attempted to practice their first dance. It was so cute. However, I will just say it, their last dance of the night was probably more beautiful...just because of their connection and happiness, and alone-ness on the floor. Cami and her Dad apparently practiced a waltz, but nerves got the better of them.
2. Go for the lighting additions. Scott and Jeffy did some brilliant lighting design. I realize that yes, they are lighting designers, but it certainly added some brilliance
3. Pick a best man and a maid of honor. I realize that there is quite a desire to be impartial to your friends, but I think that everything gets simplier if you just make a decision. But, that's just my thoughts...
4. Chocolate covered strawberries! YUMMY!
5. Don't forget the pen for the guest book... we found one eventually.
6. JUST GET UP AND DANCE... they moved the head table off the dance floor, brilliant thinking.
Pictures to follow...
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Thursday, March 27, 2008
Getting better.... I remembered
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
Today was a decent day. It appears like much of the 'hullabaloo' seems to have died down. Since I'm skipping next weeks game, I think everything should be fine.
I watched ANTM last night, and if you TiVoed it, stop reading now... SPOILERS!
I cannot believe that they sent Amiee home... I really liked her. She was so cute. You'd think that by now I would understand that if they focus on someone, it probably means they're leaving. I didn't think her photo was that bad, but mostly I just thought that she had more talent than Dominquie has in her whole person...
Ah well...
On to Top Chef... it was the best possible answer, and the person that I most wanted to go home out of the available options. Mind you that I didn't want any of them to go... this was just, in my opinion, the best of all possible worlds.
END SPOILERS!
I'm heading to Denver for a wedding this weekend. I'm really excited about the wedding, and about seeing people I haven't seen in a while. If only Caitlin, Shannon, Nikki, and Graham were attending too. Regardless, I'm psyched!
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Today was a decent day. It appears like much of the 'hullabaloo' seems to have died down. Since I'm skipping next weeks game, I think everything should be fine.
I watched ANTM last night, and if you TiVoed it, stop reading now... SPOILERS!
I cannot believe that they sent Amiee home... I really liked her. She was so cute. You'd think that by now I would understand that if they focus on someone, it probably means they're leaving. I didn't think her photo was that bad, but mostly I just thought that she had more talent than Dominquie has in her whole person...
Ah well...
On to Top Chef... it was the best possible answer, and the person that I most wanted to go home out of the available options. Mind you that I didn't want any of them to go... this was just, in my opinion, the best of all possible worlds.
END SPOILERS!
I'm heading to Denver for a wedding this weekend. I'm really excited about the wedding, and about seeing people I haven't seen in a while. If only Caitlin, Shannon, Nikki, and Graham were attending too. Regardless, I'm psyched!
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Monday, March 17, 2008
I want a secret pen microphone
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
Have you ever had one of those moments when you want to be able to hear what other people are talking about? I have those moments ALL THE TIME. Today, I wished, once again, that I could place a little secret microphone on someone to listen in on their conversations.
It's not that I want to steal information that's private... well...okay... It's just that I want to know when someone is talking about me. I want to know that they are discussing me, so I can understand their thoughts, and react to them on my own.
Often times people don't really share their thoughts about you. It's rude, certainly not the most professional thing to do, at least from the PC world we live in.
But I'm not like that. I want to hear your thoughts...the only problem is that I don't want to have to hear them from your mouth. I don't want to sit in a room, because I will probably cry. I want to hear them discreetly, and internalize and process and become better....
So, I guess, the answer is to IM me, send me an e-mail, or drop a note on my desk. No, anonymous doesn't really help.... I need to know who you are, or I can't figure out what part of my process is wrong...
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Have you ever had one of those moments when you want to be able to hear what other people are talking about? I have those moments ALL THE TIME. Today, I wished, once again, that I could place a little secret microphone on someone to listen in on their conversations.
It's not that I want to steal information that's private... well...okay... It's just that I want to know when someone is talking about me. I want to know that they are discussing me, so I can understand their thoughts, and react to them on my own.
Often times people don't really share their thoughts about you. It's rude, certainly not the most professional thing to do, at least from the PC world we live in.
But I'm not like that. I want to hear your thoughts...the only problem is that I don't want to have to hear them from your mouth. I don't want to sit in a room, because I will probably cry. I want to hear them discreetly, and internalize and process and become better....
So, I guess, the answer is to IM me, send me an e-mail, or drop a note on my desk. No, anonymous doesn't really help.... I need to know who you are, or I can't figure out what part of my process is wrong...
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Tuesday, March 11, 2008
It's been a long, been a long, been a long time....
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
Things worth updating:
I still like the job. I'm starting to feel a little sad that the people at the old job have moved on so diligently, but what are we going to do....
Soccer is going great. I not only scored a goal this weekend, but I made an amazing save as the keeper too!
Kickball is still as fun as ever, but we're not playing to fantastically....23-0 last game. No, not us.
Relationships are just as contentious as usual, with a few wonderful highlights thrown-in for happiness.
Debates I'm having...
Does discussing politics have to devolve into a bad debate? Is a discussion not possible? Are we, as politically correct people, too polite to actually allow a discussion to happen. Do we have to decide that these conversations "religion and politics" are really to contentious to discuss? I'm frustrated. No, I don't know as much as I should, but yes, I do actually enjoy having the conversations...
On other notes, don't go see Fool's Gold, There will be Blood, or Definitely, Maybe. If you already have, I'm sorry my warning didn't come soon enough. If you liked them, then I don't think I understand you. If you worked on them, I guess I'm really glad that you had a job and I'm sure that whatever part it was that YOU were a part of, was great.
I have a lot of thoughts, but I will leave you with only one:
"It's cookie time, it's cookie time, it's cookie time"
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Things worth updating:
I still like the job. I'm starting to feel a little sad that the people at the old job have moved on so diligently, but what are we going to do....
Soccer is going great. I not only scored a goal this weekend, but I made an amazing save as the keeper too!
Kickball is still as fun as ever, but we're not playing to fantastically....23-0 last game. No, not us.
Relationships are just as contentious as usual, with a few wonderful highlights thrown-in for happiness.
Debates I'm having...
Does discussing politics have to devolve into a bad debate? Is a discussion not possible? Are we, as politically correct people, too polite to actually allow a discussion to happen. Do we have to decide that these conversations "religion and politics" are really to contentious to discuss? I'm frustrated. No, I don't know as much as I should, but yes, I do actually enjoy having the conversations...
On other notes, don't go see Fool's Gold, There will be Blood, or Definitely, Maybe. If you already have, I'm sorry my warning didn't come soon enough. If you liked them, then I don't think I understand you. If you worked on them, I guess I'm really glad that you had a job and I'm sure that whatever part it was that YOU were a part of, was great.
I have a lot of thoughts, but I will leave you with only one:
"It's cookie time, it's cookie time, it's cookie time"
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Sunday, March 2, 2008
Some Explaination...and what happened
One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
I appreciate the amount of talking my last post got everyone to. In answer to some of your concerns I will share this:
1. Yes, he is my 'ex' technically. However, we still see each other at least once a week, and speak on the phone almost daily. I think it was a few days ago when he said that he would love to 'mke me his' but didn't think he could do it yet. We've talked about marriage several times, and he's always told me that he could see himself with me for the rest of his life. If not now, when?
2. If he has said yes, I would be thrilled. I love him deeply, but am tired of waiting around for the 'right time.' This way he knows where my head is.
3. While yes, it could have been a joke, I did it because, if he said no, I could play it off that way. Then we could remain friends, but hopefully I could start to fully concentrate on finding someone who will say yes.
Whether good or bad, I did ask him.
The real conversation:
General conversation about the day then:
me: Do you know what today is?
him: Leap day
me: Yup. Do you know any leap day traditions?
him: No
me: Will you marry me?
him: is that a leap day tradition?
me: yup....well....
him: can I get back to you?
me: I guess so. The tradition was that it was the one day a year when women could ask men to marry them. If he said no then he paid her something to calm the rejection.
him: Like what?
me: depends on the country. From a kiss to a silk dress.
him: I think in this day and age a woman shouldn't wait for a Leap day to ask a man to marry her.
me: Certainly she doesn't have to. Any idea about when you might know?
him: I was deliberately vague....
There you go. He didn't even have a reaction. There was no 'really? or what!' There was just a processing of the question, and an answer (although a bad one to my mind).
How would he feel if the girl he proposed to said that...
We have plans today....I guess we'll see where this goes.
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I appreciate the amount of talking my last post got everyone to. In answer to some of your concerns I will share this:
1. Yes, he is my 'ex' technically. However, we still see each other at least once a week, and speak on the phone almost daily. I think it was a few days ago when he said that he would love to 'mke me his' but didn't think he could do it yet. We've talked about marriage several times, and he's always told me that he could see himself with me for the rest of his life. If not now, when?
2. If he has said yes, I would be thrilled. I love him deeply, but am tired of waiting around for the 'right time.' This way he knows where my head is.
3. While yes, it could have been a joke, I did it because, if he said no, I could play it off that way. Then we could remain friends, but hopefully I could start to fully concentrate on finding someone who will say yes.
Whether good or bad, I did ask him.
The real conversation:
General conversation about the day then:
me: Do you know what today is?
him: Leap day
me: Yup. Do you know any leap day traditions?
him: No
me: Will you marry me?
him: is that a leap day tradition?
me: yup....well....
him: can I get back to you?
me: I guess so. The tradition was that it was the one day a year when women could ask men to marry them. If he said no then he paid her something to calm the rejection.
him: Like what?
me: depends on the country. From a kiss to a silk dress.
him: I think in this day and age a woman shouldn't wait for a Leap day to ask a man to marry her.
me: Certainly she doesn't have to. Any idea about when you might know?
him: I was deliberately vague....
There you go. He didn't even have a reaction. There was no 'really? or what!' There was just a processing of the question, and an answer (although a bad one to my mind).
How would he feel if the girl he proposed to said that...
We have plans today....I guess we'll see where this goes.
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