Busy wedding, busy work= busy Izzy

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

Yes, I know, I rejected the 'busy Izzy' for many years in school, but right now... it's the truth.

The wedding is less than 4 months away. Yes, you read that right- it's the first weekend in June, so it's about 4 months out, which I totally can't believe. There are so many little details that I'm trying to plan out. If you're in the area and haven't already started to collect glass jars for me (jelly, pasta, etc), then now is the time to start! Every weekend is filled with some sort of wedding related item, from trying on shoes with the dress (FUN!) to hammering out the guest list details (not so fun)...

I'm also starting to train for a triathlon right now. I know, I'm crazy. Unfortunately the mud-run that I do every year in October has decided to move to June, and that means I won't be able to participate. It's about a week after the wedding when I plan to be lounging around Costa Rica. So my sister suggested that I take up tri's, and I've started to train. I bought a swim cap and goggles and am on day three.

Work is getting really busy- with two events this month, and our really large events coming up in April and May. My biggest event of the season is about two weeks before the wedding- that should be fun. I'm trying to get PO's done, and I'm still at that learning phase where everything is difficult and I have to ask a lot of questions to get things done...

Okay- enough about me... how are you? who's out there? anyone at all?


Print Page

Big Decision Week

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

There have been some very interesting events here at work. They have opened up two jobs that only the people that have been laid-off can apply for. One is in marketing, the other is the assistant to the dean position. I have to make up my mind if I want to apply for either or both of these positions by Friday.

On another note, I have to decide about grad school at USC by Friday. I have been putting off this decision, hoping that something might happen to make the decision easier, but so far, no luck in bringing down the astronomical cost of attendance. I just can't justify taking on that much in loans right now, especially unemployed.

Other than that I'm trying to keep busy at work. It's a little tough, especially when my boss is out for the next three weeks.

Print Page

Now it's really official

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

On Monday they handed me my official 'your position is being eliminated' paperwork. YEAh! We sat in a meeting with some central HR people to understand our benefits and how we could go about re-applying for a job if we choose not to take severance.

Right now here are the things I'm working on:

1. Trying to decide if I should start grad school in the Fall. I would be starting at USC, with a tuition bill of a little over $8,000 for two classes. I would be taking classes on Monday and Tuesday from 4-7pm. I have to make a decision (read pay for classes) by Thursday August 20th.

2. Trying to find employment. I've been applying to A LOT of jobs, but I'm afraid that the 'cycle' for review will mean that I won't really get any interviews or information about the positions until September, by which time I will already have started the grad program if I do.

3. Should I go to Europe. For those of you playing along at home you may remember that the last time I got laid off I left on a month long cruise vacation. This time my parents are leaving on a similar vacation at the end of November. There is a possibility that I could both be in grad school and go on the trip, but only if there aren't any finals. This decision doesn't have to be made for a little bit, but I'm thinking about it anyways.

On another note, they decided to lay-off one more person. I'm not really sure if this is a lay-off technically. They have decided to terminate the contract of the marketing guy earlier than the original termination date. So, his last day is the 30th same as us. Unfortunately someone complained that he still had his job, so then he lost it. Totally ridiculous and sad.

Other than that, things are just okay. I'm trying to train for the Mud Run this year... I started training on Monday. No thoughts about how it's going quite yet.

I turn 25 this October. i know, ladies aren't supposed to say their age, but I'm really excited.

Print Page

It's offically Unofficial

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

I got laid-off yesterday. It's officially unofficial. They give me my paperwork in August, notifying me of my 60 days, which would put my last day of work here at UCI on September 30th.

It sucks. I'm sad, and annoyed. I'm angry that I was in a really great position to start getting my career really going.

Well, moral of the story, anyone looking for a production manager? Send anything my way, and thanks...


Print Page

Harry Potter, you rotter

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

I hope that this post won't spoil anyone still seeing the HP movie, and I'll do my best not to give away any of the important movie tid-bits, though I assume that everyone will have read the books by now...

I was disappointed. And that might be an understatement. WARNING- Negative commentary coming up...

I thought it was slow. I thought it bordered on boring. Each time something exciting should have happened, it just hit a tiny high then immediately dropped back to the ground. I didn't even mind getting up to go to the bathroom.

I went to the movie this morning with some work colleagues. What a great idea, team bonding over Harry Potter and lunch. Let me tell you how much I needed the happiness boost, especially since things here at work are precarious.

Anyways, I just thought they cut things in a really interesting way. They took out portions that I didn't understand, they excluded people and information that I was annoyed by. Every time they've done a movie, except maybe the first movie, I've thought they left out important information. Though it seems to be working for them, I wonder how the information they left out will continue to effect things.

Don't get me wrong, I agree that the cast was cohesive. I agree that the emotional roller coaster and the first love nonsense was interesting, but it wasn't enough to make me love the movie.

On another note, I can't make a decision. Unfortunately I really can't divulge what I can't make a decision about, but I can say that it's one of the biggest decisions I'll make. And once I make it, it won't be very easy to take back...

This weekend we'll be seeing Faith Hill at the Hollywood Bowl. I can't wait. I'll also be going down to Comic-Con next weekend. If you'll be around, give me a cellphone call.


Print Page

Nervous Nelly

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

Life is really interesting right now. I know I've mentioned it before, but we're going through pay cuts here at the school. In addition to that they announced on June 30th that they were going to be doing layoff's of at least 7 people, but most likely 11 people.

Originally they told us they would make a decision by June 15th, and inform everyone at that time. However they changed the timeline so we don't find out about who's getting laid off until June 21st. Woot!

Talk about a lack of motivation. How are you supposed to concentrate on all of those things you need to do to get ready for next year when you aren't even sure that you'll be around. I'm telling you that they know who they are laying off. They just can't tell us yet. Why make 58 people nervous, rather than just telling the 11.

In addition to that, things are happening around my family. I was looking at apartments, now I'm trying to figure out how to deal with the fact that I will probably be under my parents roof until I get married. I was looking at taking a few classes here, now I'm frantically searching the job boards.

Anyone else gone through or going through layoff's? Any thoughts about how to keep my spirits up?


Print Page

Before the engagement wedding planning

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

How much wedding planning do you think you can do before the official engagement? Is it really practical or a good idea to look at venues before your engaged?

Do your opinions change when I tell you it's the couple looking at spaces and listening to potential bands?

What if it's just the girl and her mom? What does that change?

I'm asking because I sort of feel weird about having discussions about my wedding when I'm not engaged, and yet I seem to have them all the time.

Are there other discussions like this? Somehow it's appropriate to talk about a mutual desire for children as early as the 5th date, but talking about what you'll name those kids... not appropriate until a few months before you decide to start trying. What are these invisible lines of social etiquette that we all have? How do we know what is appropriate, and what's not?

I've just finished a really interesting book called 'Live through this'. It's about a women who's two daughters run away at 12 and 14 and how she goes through the next 3 years of her life trying to find them/function/deal. It's this really interesting story in so many ways. Looking at the decline of her girls, how they went from normal 10 year olds to grungy street kids. How the 'system' is designed to help her children stay away, despite her good parenting and attempts to bring her girls home. How she deals with the two other girls she has, and trying to create a sense of normalcy for them when the other two are in and out of the house.

While I've been reading that, I've also started in on M@'s favorite book, 'Two years before the mast'. While it's been good, it's also very clunky, and I'm not just talking about the two 400 page hardback books I've actually been carrying around. He says it basically changed his life. That it influenced him so much when he was growing up. I just don't really see it. Interesting, sure, infuencing, not so much.

I just started into a book called 'Supergirls.' I didn't realize it was written by a 19 year old when I picked it up, but so far it's been annoying. I thought it was a collection of essays and thoughts by various industrious women. Really it's a look at the feminine ideal and today's media culture inspiring a generation of impossibly perfect yet ultimately f*ed up girls. Eh...

Someone at the office mentioned that layoff's might be imminent. Not really sure what to think about that. I really love it here, and it would suck to loose my job. At the same time, worrying about a layoff certainly isn't going to help me get better at my job or keep it any longer. I guess we'll just have to wait and see...


Print Page

paycuts and furloughs and layoffs Oh My!

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

We just got the first of what I'm sure will be numerous official letters about the upcoming Paycuts, possible furloughs and additional layoffs. So far we've had none of the above actually happen, but I'm positive that they will.

Since I work for a public university all of this information is public, and there has been LOTS of talk about it:

http://chronicle.com/news/article/6668/u-of-california-faculty-and-staff-members-could-face-8-pay-cut

For the record of this article, it's not the best one about the possible paycuts, but it is a public source. I'd also like to point out that I don't think I'm grossly overpaid. I think I'm paid okay, but it sucks that for the time I will work here I can never even think about getting a raise... I can barely contemplate getting cost of living. I can basically get 2% for the rest of my life, and now, they are going to take away the 2% everyone has earned for the last 4 years.... that sucks.

In this proposal that they sent out there were lots of interesting options. Option 1, just take away our money and we keep working the way we are. Option 2, they give us unpaid leave to make up for the $ they are taking. Option 3, they give us some unpaid leave, and make up the rest in a straight paycut.

Who in there right mind would say, "ah, just give me the paycut... that's cool..."

I've taken up event management gigs on the side to try to get a little extra cash flow. And my dad has decreased my rent by 1/5th to help cover the money I'm loosing. But no, I'm still not buying the expensive mustard. In fact, I'm barely getting by.


Print Page

I really did have good thoughts

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

There were several times this week when I thought to myself that I should blog. I had interesting thoughts about the overdrive of America (read, panic attack over work, gym, boyfriend, weddings, etc.); thoughts about the impending doom of the American people (really, do we really have to talk about that); thoughts about arguments with significant others (I think they are okay, as long as their productive).

However, at this moment, all I can really think about is the feeling of impending doom of my school, my department and potentially my job.

I wrote a whole long thing... and then I deleted it. Then I remembered that by writing this down someone else could find it, and talk about it, and that was no good.

So I'll be a little abstract with my thoughts, and yet, a little more focused.

I've just gone through my first 'we're hiring a high-level administrator at a school' hiring process. It certainly was interesting. I had the opportunity to interact with two candidates. We had to do for one candidate what we did for the other, which confused me a little because one candidate already works here.

At the end of it though, the whole affair didn't inspire any confidence. How do you get confidence when you're asking an Interim position to help hire a permanent position. What happens if the new higher person doesn't like who the Interim hired?

I'm excited for one of the candidates, dreading the other. Only time, and a few guys sitting in a room, will tell.

On a personal note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKI AND CHRIS!


Print Page

Does anyone have a knife with which to cut the tension?

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

I've tried really hard, but apparently the plastic throw-away knives just aren't enough...

Things here are starting to get just the slightest bit desperate. I didn't realize how much a bad economy would effect a public institution, but let me tell you, it sucks! Just yesterday the Acting Dean sent out a notice letting everyone know that they would be halting construction on the new building. The pride and joy of CTSA, and now it will just be a constant heartache every time I need to go to the Claire Trevor Stage. I really wish/hope/dream/pray that there will be an overload of donors rushing around to support this new building. It's just sad to know that because our building is supposed to be funded with state money, we can't fund it at all...

Additionally the reality around here is starting to be realized that we are going to be making some more hard adjustments before we are able to be through this... that staff are the 'bottom' rung of the neccessities. Perhaps just a step higher than contract employees. All my dreams of moving back out of my parents house are certainly on hold. Though, as M@ put it yesterday, I could just end up in the situation that with no job I would be 'forced' to move in with him. Think of the disaster **wink**.

On another note I think that all of my loyal readers should be thrilled right now. That's right people, two posts in ONE WEEK! Shock!

I'm going to try to get back into a regular weekly feature. I've been making lots of new recipies, so maybe I'll feature one of those... I've been working out A LOT and trying to lose a bit of weight, so maybe I'll do a progress update. My sister is also getting married so a weekly 'why weddings stink' article might not be to much of a stretch.

Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions on how much you DON'T want to hear about my sisters wedding? Speak now, Internet, or hold your tongue.


Print Page

A career path

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

I've been starting to think a little more 'long-term' about my career path. This conversation has gone through oh so many twists and turns through the years. When I was younger I was quite positive that I would work for a few years, then spend the rest of my life tending my home and my children. Through high school I even went so far as to avoid work until I graduated. I adopted the mantra 'I'm going to work for the rest of my life, why start now'.

Then I was quite positive that I wouldn't even really do that. I was positive of this even as I spent $40 thousand dollars a year on a college education... hmm... Then, I started working. I loved it, I love everything about it. Yes, as with everyone else, there are days when I would rather be in bed or on vacation. I get that twinge of interesting regret that says that I should just live on a boat and travel the world, but the reality is that I love coming into an office. I love the people, the problem solving, and knowing that I have goals set.

Well, now that I know I love it, the question is where to go. I applied and was accepted to a fantastic master's program at USC; post-secondary education and student affairs. Then life changed and I don't really think that's an option anymore. I'm still thinking that I want to be in a college though. I'm wondering what my next move is if I want to be a teacher, if I want to be a housefellow (dorm staff member) or if I want to become President of a University. Do I need to be a teacher? Can I transition from APM to PM to Teacher?

What about being in administration? How do you become the Assistant Dean, or Head of anything? Can I walk into a Career counselor and say I want to be a chancellor, just like someone can say they want to be a doctor or a lawyer?

On another career path note, can you get a promotion without an increase in salary? Is it still called a promotion? The Oxford English Dictionary doesn't make any mention of mandatory monetary compensation; but my Dad seems to think that it MUST come with $.

Print Page

Maybe now that I'm working I'll be better

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

Wow- now it's been a very long time. For those of you not in other contact with me, I'll give you the 5 minute update.

I've started a new job with UCI. I love it. I'm the Assistant Production Manager for the School of the Arts and it is so wonderful to be doing theatre again. To be in the costume shop and to have tools and actors and all those wonderful things. I still get to do music concerts, but I also get to do dance and special events. Thrilling.

In order to start my job on the 1st I left my apartment and moved in with my parents. What a crazy and frustrating adventure that has been. They are wonderful people, but there are so many frustrations. I have a lot of stuff and trying to put it all into one room is impossible.

I'm still with (or just with) Matt. Things are going really well. We have very full weekends, at least this month, so we'll see how they continue to shape up as we move along the rest of this year.

My birthday is coming up, and my sister is coming down for it. I'm thrilled about that. I'm doing the Mud Run at Camp Pendleton, at least I'm going to try. I injured my right foot trying to train for the event... we'll see what happens on saturday.

I'm having a problem dealing with people's political opinions. I have been dealing with two people who have very strong, and in my opinion wrong, ideas about a few different things. While I've tried to get to the point where we're all okay saying that we can just agree to disagree, it doesn't seem like these two people are willing to let me have my opinions. I have tried to just be quiet, but it's so hard. Thoughts?

Well, I think that's it for now. I'll try to get back to a usual typing and some good thoughts.

Print Page

Interviews Ahoy!

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

I've had two interviews so far. I think they both went well, especially since one was in person and one was a phone interview. It's funny to try to comprehend the job responses I've been getting, who has called me back and who hasn't...

I won't go into details about the interviews here, if you want to know you can call me, but needless to say one job might be a little above me, and one might be a little below me. We'll have to see where it all lands.

I've been inundated by engagement announcements. People I thought might never get married, let alone get married before me, are totally engaged. I know that's ridiculous, to think that I should be married first, but it's true. I'm happy for them, but I can't help wondering what's up with me...

My parents didn't meet, let alone get married, until after they were both 30. I know that's totally reasonable and okay, but I always thought it would be different for me. I always thought that I would be making that transition sooner...

I used to think that I just wanted to be a stay at home mom, but I realize that I love working. I'm a hard worker, and I'm good at the jobs I do. I don't want to have kids tomorrow, but I want to have the opportunity to be with my husband, to make a life with him before we add kids to the mix.

I guess I'm just feeling a little frustrated by 'life planning'.

I know, man plans and G-d laughs. But I always thought that woman was supposed to...

Print Page

Home, trying to adjust

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

This has been one of the hardest adjustments I've ever had. My body clock just can't seem to settle itself... i haven't slept through the night since I've been home. (except the one time I slept the entire day...)

I have my first job interview Tuesday. With SCR... I'm really excited. If anyone has heard of a job that I might be good at, please pass it along.

The trip was fabulous. I had a truly amazing time. I learned a lot about myself, being in a crazy undeveloped nation. I learned about how I interact with others, which went surprisingly well... I learned more about food and culture and how Americans are perceived, also what happened in Vietnam, from the Vietnamese perspective.

I had an amazing adventure, it felt like a really long time. I loved Cambodia, the people are so friendly. Even though I know they are poorer than Vietnam, they all seem so much more friendly and personable.

I learned that I can handle it. Being in a foreign country, and that I can really have a good time.

Print Page

A whole month! So sorry

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

This is not usually like me, but I guess something changes when the world gets rocked the way mine did.

Iäm in Sweden (as you can tell from the occassional bad spelling and random letters), about to complete my trip with my parents. Overall, itäs been a great time. Some frustrations, some fantastic moments. A lot of learning and having a great time.

Iäll be home on Monday, and promise that I will try to post a few pictures and write more about the trip.

Iäm anxious to get home, but not excited to start the process of figureing out what my next move in life is. There are so many questions yet to answer- I just know that I want to make the right choice for the next phase of my life.

Iäve gotten to the point where Somewhere Over the Rainbow doesnät make me cry, and where I can talk about the job without being upset. I still think they made the wrong decision, but I have really accepted it.

Iäll say this about a cruise with retired people, being the only young one made me quite popular. I got told time and again that I would be very successful in life, and that I have a great talent for being open, and friendly and fun. I was discussing with many people my situation...a good time.

Someone is waiting, until Monday- Tack!



Print Page

Changes changes changes

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

So it didn't work out. I took a risk, a calculated risk, and it just didn't make sense. There wasn't any doubt that I was good at my job... there was conflict of personalities. Not really sure what to say about that.

And so I find myself, in this boon of economic times, once again on the job hunt.

Should I cancel my deferment and start my masters degree this coming fall?

Should I get a job in student affairs?

Should I take random PA jobs and learn about film and television?

Should I try to get back into live theatre, and stage manage/production manage?

Should I do something else?

thoughts...?


Print Page

Another week...sorry

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

So, it's apparently been almost a whole week since I last updated.

Important things:

1. Making choices: I find that I am still not thrilled with all of my choices. Sometimes I make the wrong ones, but for some reason, I start to feel that the ones that I screw up are significantly more tenuous and difficult than the ones I used to make. Frustration.

2. Interactions with people: I still find that I'm not thrilled with all of my interactions. I wonder if I'm letting people treat me inappropriately, or that I'm not everything that I could or should be. Is it their expectations that are wrong, or is it my actions?

3. Vietnam: I bought my ticket. $1800 all in (taxes,etc.) It's more than I wanted to spend, but at the end of the day I'm thrilled. I leave at 1am Thursday morning (aka Wednesday night) and arrive in Hanoi at 10am. I leave from Cambodia at 2pm and arrive at LAX at 9pm. YEAH!

4. Tired of being tired: I want to sleep more. That is all.

5. Passover: I'm so excited about passover dinner. If you're around, reading this, and I didn't invite you- shame on me. Call me, and an invitation is on the way. I really hope that people will start to bring food, not just juice or iced tea...

Print Page

Tricky times, personal and otherwise

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

I'm not really sure where to start. I have a LOT to say about myself, about what happened this weekend, about politics and my thoughts on the war. Where to start...

Most importantly, I think, is the hurt I happened to spread this weekend. I forced people who haven't spoken to me in a long time to rekindle emotions and thoughts about our relationships. I forced myself to take a long, hard and depressing look into my life and the relationships I've forged. Why, you might ask... because I had to. Because someone, a brilliant someone who can see deeper into my soul and my person than I ever thought possible/would ever be possible for me to do myself, brought to my attention that 1+2 did not =3 in my case...

I tore through my past, through the pain I have felt and the pain I have caused others, and came out on the other end with a very painful solution. A thought that I wasn't going to share, yet again, felt compelled to share. And not only did it not provide anything positive for the other person, it was mean and unkind and horrible. I wish that I could have seen through my pain, and into the pain I would have been causing. It's just so incredible, to understand how clearly someone can see right through me. And how my thoughts could be so muffled, and how I couldn't understand my own process. And how I have ended up back in the same corner I was last time... having brought someone down a scary path, and lost them along the way.

This isn't about them, it's about me... but I'm dreadfully sorry.

Additionally, I was just mean this weekend. A friend was sick and couldn't hang out with me, and I was angry at them. I'm not exactly sure why... but I was. I called up to apologize later, but there wasn't any reason for me to be rude. I just can't seem to figure out where I should be these days.

I think I need to take some time out. Try to limit myself to activities for myself, and around myself...

I watched Stop-loss this weekend. If you haven't seen this movie, you should. Especially if you are actively involved in thinking about how the war is affecting America. I won't give it away, but I loved the way she used live film footage, took action shots and really made me feel like I was there. She didn't ignore the sad moments, but at the same time, she didn't ignore the honor and the desire of the soldiers.

I think the war is a horrible thing, but I also think that it's exceptionally complicated. It's so multi-faceted that it can't easily be explained by either side, without some sort of ignorance or pushing of an agenda. The movie seemed to be fairly unbiased. It presented the horrors of Stop-Loss and the horrors of being a soldier; but at the same time, it seemed to be impressively able to explore and develop real people in these situations.

I wish that I was more politically minded, and I know that those of you who are will be saddened by my process, but I support my country and for me, that support means supporting the soldiers in the war.

I also went to the Art Walk at the Brewery this weekend. I bought a really cute piece, a little expensive, but I was quite smitten by it. It was a great time, with a great date.

I spent an obseen amount of money at Macy's. My way of getting out my horrible emotions for the weekend. SO much for saving for a trip.




Print Page

Still difficult...

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

I'm trying hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The truth, that I'm not sure that I'm even in a tunnel, is even harder to see.

I'm working so hard, I'm trying so hard, I'm drowning.

I don't understand how many people can't be bothered to work out their own problems with the people they have problems with.

I love my job, and in all honestly, I love my life. I just want people to be able to understand that I'm doing my best, I don't mean any ill-will, and that I'm still learning.

On more personal notes, last night ended up being exactly what I needed! Everything I needed, and more than I could have even expected...


Print Page

Getting better.... I remembered

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

Today was a decent day. It appears like much of the 'hullabaloo' seems to have died down. Since I'm skipping next weeks game, I think everything should be fine.

I watched ANTM last night, and if you TiVoed it, stop reading now... SPOILERS!

I cannot believe that they sent Amiee home... I really liked her. She was so cute. You'd think that by now I would understand that if they focus on someone, it probably means they're leaving. I didn't think her photo was that bad, but mostly I just thought that she had more talent than Dominquie has in her whole person...

Ah well...

On to Top Chef... it was the best possible answer, and the person that I most wanted to go home out of the available options. Mind you that I didn't want any of them to go... this was just, in my opinion, the best of all possible worlds.

END SPOILERS!

I'm heading to Denver for a wedding this weekend. I'm really excited about the wedding, and about seeing people I haven't seen in a while. If only Caitlin, Shannon, Nikki, and Graham were attending too. Regardless, I'm psyched!

Print Page