One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
Last night was great. Thanks for the calls, the notes, and the dinner. So much laughter, and such a great night.
On a totally other note, people from the past have surfaced this week. These past two weeks I've run into, either literally or figuratively, about 4 people from the past.
There was Jacob Navaro, a guy I knew in high school, who I literally ran into at the Duck's game. He's actually not even living in SoCal anymore, so it was even more random to run into him there.
There was Tephani Dosiek, a girl from 7th grade, who called me on the phone. Still not sure why, since she called while I was going out on a date; but how crazy. We've been playing phone tag all week.
There was, which might be most interesting for this audience, Sarah, the costume designer from CMU my freshman and sophomore year. Funnily enough, we ran into each other at my favorite crepe place in Pasadena. Yup Hallie and Rustin, our crepe place! That was totally nuts. I haven't even thought about her since she left sophomore year.
Each time I saw or met one of these people, I couldn't help but marvel at how much or how little they'd changed, or, most importantly, how much I wanted them to change. All the things I liked or disliked about them, all the reasons why I should, or should not, allow them back into my life.
Have I changed a lot? Have I changed for the better? With my birthday yesterday, I think it's an even more pertinent question...in what ways am I different than I was when I was 7, 13, 16, 20? Am I?
I can't imagine that I could possibly be the same, but have I changed in ways that people perceive to be positive? I thought so much about my relationship with TJ. What it meant to me, what she meant to me, what she did to me, and whether I wanted to add her back to my life. I think she's getting married, and, honestly, I'm jealous.... But has she changed? Would bringing her back into my life lead to a happy female friendship, or back to the misery I remember when I was young?
Do I owe these people, or any people really, the opportunity to have a second chance? Do I really have to- check it out- and see what happens? Am I allowed to decide that I don't care? What does etiquette say, and more importantly, where is the line in the sand?
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4 comments:
Well, I have no clue what etiquette demands; I'm not good with that stuff.
I'm not exactly known for my incredible people skills either, but I'll take a shot at this anyway. :-)
I'd say you should take a shot. Ask them to a movie, or dinner, or a party or something, and see how it goes.
hey there, happy belated birthday izzy!
First I will add that yes in almost 12 years I have changed. I enjoy the finer things of life. I don't really know what I did to you so badly, I just remember a very long trip where we were confined together for our last summer really before we went our seperate ways. I remember I was being annoying and you bopped me on the head. Not knowing that my spacers had been placed like 2 weeks prior and mt teeth were in agony. I reacted. We had a fist fight, and things were never the same. Also I look back at all the great things in our friendship.. your family was my sarogate family, you were the only friend who truly never abandoned me, and I fought for you tooth and nail when cruel pre teens would say their un nice comments. I was a caring and loyal friend to you as you were to me. All through highschool I longed for our friendship back, and again through college where people came and went. I never had that friendship.
I remember loosing my best friend at the time Becca Gordan because I wanted to be friends with you as well and I thought how nasty those girls were being. I remember our akward moments and our pledge to marry each other should we not marry prior to 28. I miss you and your lack of care of what others think. I miss being free and eating icing out of the can, sleep overs on the tramp, and your pool.
I look back at it today and wonder why it is I am getting married and I have no bestfriends to stand up for me. I remember how I treated people. I am saddened at how cruel I was. I was so unhappy I was fake, a liar, and just wanted a brady family again.
I MISS YOU
Please call me! I can't find your number. I think I called last, but I'm not sure. I didn't write it down, and now I can't find it. So please, please call me!
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