Musings, lots of them.

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

So I have more job interviews. One tomorrow with a follow-up on Friday of next week, one on Monday, and I'm hoping to apply for about 4 more jobs this week to bring my total up to 20.

I've been helping the boyfriend move in. I can't seem to figure out where to draw the line on things that are just to annoying to be tolerated, and things that should be fine, especially since I'm not really living with him...

Let's take organization. Maybe on a basic level, such as throwing out the mail after you touch it, rather than throwing it on the floor. Keeping things clean, and enjoying knowing that things are clean and tidy. Let's take his CD's, he has this habit of deciding that any CD can go into any CD case... I know these things are little, but I can't help but wonder if they are larger things in the big picture.

We've been having some rough days, where every things has started out unhappy, but ends up being fine. That tells me that we're doing okay, and that we know how to work with each other. On the other hand, I wonder if it's really that we are just comfortable with each other, and not willing to take the next step (actually move in with each other) should tell me that we might be doing what we're doing because it's easy.

I really loved having this weekend with my CMU friends. To have the 'group' back together in some form, with 5 of us it's enough to really feel together. With these feelings comes even more anger and disappointment at those friends who have decided to cut me out of their lives. Those friends who, without apparent reason on my end, decided that they didn't have time for me, or that they just didn't want to care anymore...

The month of Elul is upon us. For those of you who don't know Elul is the name of the Jewish month at the end of the year. Sort of like December, but for us it's really about trying to 'catch the spirit' of new beginnings. I'm really trying to dedicate myself to a more through understanding of Judaism, and really try to make choices about mitzvot, important perspectives and Jewish ideals. It's not that I don't already have these things, but I think that it's really time for me to try to dig a little deeper. To understand a little more. I've joined a learning program where your study partner calls you once a week to discuss whatever topics you choose. I'm really excited because it's a Jewish community brought to me.

The sprinklers at the new apartment make it look like it's raining...


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