Sunday, April 22, 2007

Surviving

Deep Survival is a truly remarkable book. Haven't you ever wondered why some people survived and others didn't. In a boat crash 4 people go into the water together. At the end of 5 days only two of them are alive. Two of them actually walked off the side of the boat, eaten alive by sharks. One succumbed to the elements...two of them made it out of the water.

Am I a survivor? Do I really think that I have the mental coolness to ignore my amygdala, the ephinephrine the norepinephrine...? The physical reactions my body has been designed to have to deal with and possibly overcome the challenge...

Recovery is survival. Moving forward, conciously putting the thoughts you need to consider, the rational self; ahead of the emotional being. Overcoming the desire to ask "why me" and moving forward with a clear goal and purpose?

I know that at some point in my life I will have the experience where I will be faced with the prospect to survive. I will eventually die, and it only seems natural that before that point I will be working toward survival. When my moment comes, will I be able to rationally examine the world around me?

Can I even rationally examine the world right now? Do I honestly live in the moment, allow myself to take in the clues the world is giving me? A good friend says I need to learn to listen to my body. How? By going into the mountains and forcing myself to survive? By ignoring the civil world around me?

Maybe, I just need to start looking within. Stop waiting for someone to come and make my life good. Stop looking for love and recognize that I am the only one who can make my life happy. Me, and me alone.

2 comments:

Gridley said...

I have always been amazed by the variability of human survival.

Once while on duty with my EMS unit we came across a motor vehicle accident. A car had jumped the median on the highway into oncoming traffic, flipped over, and landed on the roof crushing both "A" posts, the windshield, and about half the roof into the forward part of the passenger compartment. I approached the car, fully expecting to find a mangled corpse in the driver's seat. As I walked up I noticed a guy standing next to the vehicle. Noting that he appeared to be uninjured, I assumed he was a bystander and asked how many people had been in the car. "Just me," he replied. He hadn't even been wearing a seatbelt. My crew chief initially thought the guy must be lying, because no one could just walk away from something like that.

But he did.

We are amazingly fragile creatures - almost anything can kill us. But some people manage to survive no matter what happens.

Umm. Long reply. I guess I'm saying that I, too, wonder why some people live and others die in the exact same circumstances. Why do some people's hearts stop after only forty years, or eighteen, or two, while others are still going at over a hundred? Is it fate, luck, or ability that makes the difference?

Cait said...

"Maybe, I just need to start looking within. Stop waiting for someone to come and make my life good. Stop looking for love and recognize that I am the only one who can make my life happy. Me, and me alone."

Izzy, you have just discovered the secret of the universe.

Yes, you are the only one who can make yourself happy. Perhaps that is by finding someone else who makes you smile. Perhaps that is by treading water until you know you are a survivor.

But in the end...It is you, and ONLY you, who will be responsible for your own happiness or fulfillment.

And yes, you ae a survivor. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind. Of all people.

If you need to be reminded why, call me. I'm always here...