One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me
Today I have burped 92 times, and I'm still going. I wonder how many times I will burp just while I am writing this blog post. Any guesses? It's worth 10 points!
If I were one of the funny, witty female writers that I admire so much i would be able to take this already amusing tale and spin it into a best selling novel. Are women born with this funny writing gene... how do I get it? can I take a class? can I study something or read something?
Here's my attempt at a funny account of my day:
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I woke up this morning, jolted awake at exactly 10 am by two thoughts: one, why hasn't my roommate, who can't move my shift car woken me up to get the car out of her way- G-d I hope she hasn't used her car to push mine out of the way again; two, a loud, ear-ringing, and terrible tasting, burp. What a brilliant moment. I think the gardeners must have heard me through the open window; I can only guess what they started yelling at each other and laughing about in Spanish....
I have decided that I can't live with this problem. If the doctor wants to laugh at me, I'll bring proof of my burping habits. I got out of bed, and while trying to scrounge for a notebook to record the number of burps I burped at least 10 more times. I lost count, it was definitely more fingers than I had available....
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Okay- I tried.... did you laugh? Be honest, I need feedback here people! Perhaps I'm trying to hard.
Of course, the moral of the story is that everyone gives me weird looks and I can't make it through a conversation with someone without burping. Today a football player gave me a dirty look. That's right, a FOOTBALL player. I've decided he was jealous!
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2 comments:
Er, I'm afraid I didn't. Laugh, that is.
Didn't we record the number of times you burp per day freshman year? I seem to remember something about a tally on the blackboard. But don't remember the results. On one hand, I'm sorry this is becoming such an ordeal for you. On the other, this is the first step towards making yourself feel better, right? And that's great!
-Cait
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