Wednesday, October 10, 2007

October Write-Away contest: things that scare me

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

While I'm slightly afraid of a bunch of random things, you know, bugs, cockroaches, scary noises, etc. my biggest fear is somewhat different. There are, unfortunately, two of them.

I am terrified, down to my soul, that one day my adopted older sister will decide to look for her real parents. Why does this terrify me you ask? I'm not really sure. What could possibly be wrong with my sister discovering the people who gave her life, genetically speaking? Somehow I feel that if my sister were to go searching for her parents, that she'd be giving me away. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. We shared blood when we were very young, sitting on the banks of the stream in our backyard. I've never had a strong relationship with my sister but lately we've been getting closer. It's been very hard, she moved to San Jose, is becoming part of her fiance's family. If she decided to find her birth parents- I don't know what I'd do.

Who am I kidding- she's my sister; I'd help her look, try to be supportive, but inside I am terrified.

The other thing that terrifies me is that I will wander around the earth looking for someone to love me- only to never find anyone. That I will become a cat lady; the miserable old bat who never committed to anyone. I'm only 23! I'm not sure if I'm more terrified that I'm having these thoughts at 23, or that I really might end up alone. This time in my life is supposed to be wonderful, but really, it's stressful. I don't know what I want but with all my friends getting engaged and married, it's hard to remain positive.

These are the 'Things that Scare me' in response to this post by Scribbit.

You are all encouraged to enter Scribbit's contest, but if you're not feeling up to it just give me a taste: What are you scared of?

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3 comments:

Scribbit said...

I liked the approach you took to this, it's something that I too would be afraid of if I were in your place and I liked seeing things through your eyes. Thanks for entering.

Gridley said...

Looking for someone to love you, looking for someone you love, or looking for someone who both loves you and you love?

IMO the first you don't have a problem with, and the second isn't likely to be a problem in the long run.

The third, now, that's the trick.

Will said...

i'm frightened of never finding something that makes me as happy as i'd like to be. and also of strangers, with or without candy.