Can I really just be your friend? I thought you were my soulmate

One would hope that I add something to the world- be it good, bad, or indifferent- Me

This whole experience seems like such a dejayvu. I could swear I have walked down this exact path with you before. And, as much as I know that I'm not what you want, I couldn't help getting wrapped up in it again. In your arms, in your smile, in your eyes.

It's been proved beyond a doubt, however, that you do not want me. That all you want is my friendship.

I had thought that if we took a break between now and then, that when I walked into that party, looking beautiful and being happy- that you would remember that you love me; that you're in love with me, and that you want to be with me for the rest of my life. That's what I had thought.

It's obvious, however, that it was never going to happen like that.

So, let's take it one day at a time. Let's focus on the friendship, remember the boundaries that friends should have, and invest ourselves fully in other people.

And, just for the record, I don't have a problem driving. In fact I'm driving to Laguna Beach tonight for a birthday party. I just don't want to drive to an event with people I don't know, and arrive alone and by myself after the whole party has started without me. I'm not that adventurous I guess...but it has NOTHING to do with the idea of driving down by myself.

PS- I've been anxious to speak with you. About Jess and what she means, about the fact that you found your way here and you had so many things to say about it. So the fact that you cancelled twice when I had so many things on my mind just made it that much worse. Oh well, it doesn't matter now.


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